for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
