Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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