1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
