I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
