you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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