is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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