I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
