I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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