She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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