So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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