this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
