Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
