I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
