i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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