How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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