I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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