good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
