no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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