last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
