so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
