He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
