FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
