I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Why is your signature on my underwear?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My ass is underappreciated
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
