I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
