It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
