If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
