His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
