yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
a search helicopter?!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
