I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
