Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
id be glad to
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
