am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
