somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
