Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
