Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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