Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
