remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This house was built for laser tag.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
