Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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