What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
