CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
