U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
