Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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