yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
