Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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