That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
