He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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