She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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