there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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