Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
