I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
