It's like God shit irony all over that family
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
