I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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