Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
